That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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