OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Please don't give away my fajitas
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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