I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
