Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
