Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
