Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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