She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Randomize
