he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
How's work?
Spinning.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
