You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize