Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
