I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
My dick has a subreddit
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
