I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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