No subtext here. People are naked.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
