Three words: puerto rican gang bang
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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