guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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