If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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