mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
