Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
