i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
