At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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