you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
