He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
