I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
