I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
