She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
