Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You are a genius and a whore.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
