I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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