The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I will die if light touches me.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
