i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
i think i just lost a toe
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
