I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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