i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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