isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Randomize
