when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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