bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
