worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
