It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
