i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
