once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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