I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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