we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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