apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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