is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
