Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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