I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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