all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Randomize
