So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
