This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
