we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
