We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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