I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
